Sunday September 22nd, 2013
The original purpose of sex was to connect us back to Source.~ Sidonie Bouchet © 2012
And so the journey continues as I move down the path that explores sexuality as an opening to expanded consciousness, for that is indeed what has been occurring as I find what connects me back to source.
For those who have been following my opening unto sexual reunification with goddess, then I want you to know that love is the key that turns the lock in opening to these experiences. The physical actions performed without love and/or in a sacred state are just that – physical actions. The ritual preparation and intentions to use the sexual energy capabilities within the body to expand consciousness and move into altered states is based on love – transpersonal love; love that is not attached to an individual, but love for all and everyone and everything. The growth of my capacity to encompass love has been just as important an element in this unfolding as has been the physical sexual act itself. I cannot stress this point enough in the profound experiences of divinity that have been visited upon me of late and so I remind you the reader, of my sacred journey that incorporates sexuality as an expanded expression of that love.
Sexuality is still very much judged as wrong outside the confines and strictures of a committed relationship, such judgments stemming from the patriarchal and Christian ideology that was intended to limit and control the incredible power of sex and its ability to connect us back to source. It is because of this that we often find it very difficult to accept the free engagement in sexual practices that I am currently sharing with you, and which you perhaps find so daring or challenging to your sensibilities. Such is the power of your sexuality and I urge you to keep an open, non-judgmental stance as I share with you.
Practice makes perfect, and so I have been engaging with Stuart Berlin on a daily basis after a break of a week or so. Coming back to the temple that has been created in body, heart and mind through the energetic commitment between all of us who are participating in these practices is as important as any physical temple created of matter. And it has been the awareness of the temple being my body that was impressed upon me this week. As I moved into ecstatic trance like states only yesterday, I experienced goddess speaking to me. She spoke about the sexual service that was performed by the priestesses in the temples of old and that indeed, the energy generated and directed in these accelerated states was used to manifest in the physical that which was intended to be created. She explained that my body was the ultimate temple, the physical structure, a womb being filled with light as it was issuing forth from Stuart’s lingam. Indeed I experienced his phallus as a wand of light filling me up with light encoded love.
As I stated in my previous blog, it is Stuart’s attention to giving pleasure, to arousing me through cunnilingus, breast sucking and kissing that accelerates the release of oxytocin through the body, creating the altered state of consciousness to move into. Having this happen on a daily basis accelerates the time taken to activate these states, and also reinforces the neural pathways that flood the body with the release of this love hormone. When the kundalini in my body then becomes activated, it is truly the uncontrollable release of Shakti energy which I experience in shuddering waves throughout my body. For many years I have known this energy coursing in spasms through me and have always wondered if other women experienced the same, often jarring and continuous orgasmic ecstasy. It’s not something you can bring up in casual conversation with your girlfriends and I had never read about it, so I was interested to know if other women experienced their sexuality this way.
It was in the joining with other priestesses and experiencing them in sexual orgasm that I came to gather a greater understanding of the sexual response as it was occurring. Stuart was also a wealth of knowledge as he has had more experience with other women over an extended period, and so was able to inform me, that yes indeed he was familiar with my shuddering Shakti. Similarly, priestess Freya’s response was much less vocal and internal than mine and she explains that for her it is more meditative and trance like than how I experience the bliss.
Enter Hadassah – another priestess who has been an integral part of the sacred sexual temple of goddess who I had the pleasure of sharing orgasms with. As another 50+ woman like myself, Hadassah shared the exquisite experience of her ejaculation as she orgasmed. How beautiful to watch her, head thrown back, moving into ecstatic states as she gushed forth voluminous amounts of ejaculate that just kept coming and coming. Now this was indeed a gift I had never known with another woman, although I have experienced it in myself. Hadassah is indeed prolific in the volume she ejaculates but I know from various other post-menopausal women, that this too can vary greatly.
One other aspect I found when sharing sexually with the priestess women in oxytocin states is the ability to merge energetically and experience their orgasms, just by lying beside them. The merging of energetic fields encompasses all the participants, synergistically expanding and amplifying the shared experience for everyone. It is truly blissful to be so deeply connected, that you merge and melt together in one orgasmic state.
And so it was that at 2.00am on Thursday morning when the moon was full, Goddess Freya and myself prepared to be collected by Stuart for the drive down to Malibu beach where in the sacred womb cave of the mother we made ritual love on the sand, with an ebb tide and a magnificent full pearl moon. This cave is a special place, so I won’t tell you exactly where it is, but it is ancient and no doubt been used by the Indian Chumash tribes for thousands of years. The illuminated sand as we walked up the beach that night, at a time so near Mabon and the autumnal equinox was not only beautiful, but powerful for calling in the energies of manifestation and love. And so on soft sand two priestesses of goddess and her sacred Shemesh (beloved of Ishtar) came together to intend powerful magic of unification and healing back into the world. It truly is a privilege as priestess of goddess to be in service of the great mother and at last be called upon to act in her name in the sacred natural places that are her body.
And as I continue to experience my body as a vehicle for ecstasy to manifest through, I look in the mirror and see myself getting younger. The regenerative power of this light filled energy that accesses states of bliss is indeed highly activated and the vibrations that are being channelled through the heart and out into the world make me glow. Stuart himself is nearly 57 and is very active and youthful in his presence and also his stamina in being able to be with several women each day. If there is an elixir of youth then this has to be it. The brain chemistry that is being activated in these light filled trance states of ecstasy is sourced from joy and heart space and is love. There is nothing more beautiful than to be in a constant state of love and that is what I am being reminded of as a priestess of the goddess sharing her message back into the world. I am an emissary of her love, as are all who participate in the recreation of the temple, which we are calling Lilith’s Temple of the Elohim. Here we share the sacredness of the expanded female orgasm and combine meditation, prayer and sexual ecstasy into a cohesive shared state of liminal time from which to manifest the goddess back into the world. But more about that coming soon.
Equinox blessings to one and all.